Oldie but (still) a Goodie.

(with thanks, i think, lol.to "seaqueen".)
(please note.obviously the work of a woman or , god help us all,a "metero-sexual") (.to those of you in yer 50's,.that's "new-speak" for a bloke with a handshake like a wet fish ).

_____________________________
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling the AAis not an option.I WILL win.
______________________________-
___

Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,
I will open the bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at.If another man shows up, one of us will say
to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
where to start.'We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.
______________________________-
____

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me tenderly while I lie in bed
and moan.You're a woman.You never get as sick as I do, so
for you, this is no problem.
______________________________-
____

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread.I cannot be
expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.'For all I
know, these are the same thing.
______________________________-
______

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person
gets here and has to put it back together.
______________________________-
____

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV.If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.
( applies to engineers mainly).
______________________________-
______

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about.The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports or sex.I have to make up something else when
you ask, so don't ask.
______________________________-
______

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have to.Whatever
you got her for Mother's Day is okay;I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
______________________________-
_____

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie.Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't
.and if you are feeling amorous afterwards.then I will
certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to
others.
______________________________-
____

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too.Either pair of shoes is fine.With the belt or without it,
looks fine.Your hair is fine.You look fine.Can we just go
now!
______________________________-
_______

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2011, I
will share equally in the housework.You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
and I'll do the rest. Like wandering around in the garden
with a beer wondering what to do.
______________________________-
_________________
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men

There are documented instances of Men survivng entire movies
without the remote. .especially romantic comedies, & historic period costume dramas,
.to be fair, being asleep is a technical fail,
.but still counts, i reckon.
:)

ha ha ha .classic !

Fantastic! I Love it!

Lets make it dredge an old thread night an confuse the sleepless

haha cool Ant!

Because I am a man, even if you think your bum looks big in those jeans, I think you should be thankful there is nothing wrong with your eyesight.

Gidday, Prwanie.
Random post from a year ago !
lol. good onya.
Eddie. still trying to get over your way for our catchup
.have been handcuffed to a laptop,
hate working in the office.but I'm reliably told I will be let out the house with a day-pass some time this week.
Man.( no s**t, . 75 & 80hr weeks, 6 in a row now )
.just tired bveyond belief now.but last offers comng through
for client tomight.& closing sales tomorrow & Wed,
.escaaaaaaape.!
See ya real soon
xxx Ant
.

seems like you got one hell of a work load there.
Sounds like you going to need a good break once you can get some of the load off.No hurry mate, we'll catch up for that coffee when your ready.

if it doesn't kill ya- just makes ya stronger, right !
( ** mumbles something about proper work, instead of this office lark )
hey- thanks for being patient.
xx Ant.

You're welcome.