And on a lighter note

Five Scotsmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four."

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Scotsmen retorts in disbelief. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons."

"You can not pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."

The Scotsmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

They would have had problems up till recently with a Nissan Homy.

A very wealthy businessman in his stretch limo told his chauffeur to take him home through the sad/poor part of town. On the outskirts he spies a host of people on their hands and knees with their heads down in a bare paddock. Stop the car he says and gets out to have a look, he calls an old man in rags over and says, "what's going on here". The old guy says we are all so poor and hungry that all we can get to eat is the dry tufts of grass. That's utterly disgraceful says the rich guy, i demand that you get everyone into the limo you're all coming home with me. After everyone is in and the limo is on it's way the poor old guy says to the rich bod, Sir we can't thank you enough you are so kind and generous and caring. Don't mention it says the Rich guy with great sincerity, I could hardly let you people grub around on that sparse dry paddock when I have a lush lawn at home,with grass that's nearly 2 feet high.

Thank you I had a good laugh at that.

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?”

The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there, but I can’t carry this lot.”

The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?”

“Why thank you very much,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home after following her advice.

On the way, he said, “Let’s take my shortcut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me… How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?”

Shocked, the farmer responded, “Holy smokes, lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”

The old lady replied, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”

Nice one Snoops.