* Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident. * Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat out in the Workshop by simply pi**ing in the sink * DON'T BUY your sister-in-law a thong for her birthday then expect your wife to be pleased, particularly if you comment on how nice her ar*e looks in it. * BMW DRIVERS. When approaching a traffic jam on a motorway, feel free to do a last minute swerve into the lane I'm in, halving the braking distance I was allowing myself and putting the horses I was transporting on their fu**ing knees *When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly, and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he's been caught. * AFTER A hard night's drinking, eat two heaped spoonfuls of Bisto granules before going to bed and 'stir' by gyrating your waist. The following morning's inevitable bum gravy will be nicely thickened and finally COMPETITION fans. Ensure sucess in postal competitions by moistening the envelopes with your helmet oil. This will, upon opening, cause the release of male pheromones which will subconsciously drive the gorgeous admin assistant to pick your entry 'entirely at random'.
chevcamaro,
Jun 10, 4:16am
but it's true.lol
im_andrew,
Jun 10, 4:02pm
If you must put your tools down while working, always drop them on the floor, or on your hoist. Never sit them on top of a radiator, chassis member, strut tower etc because eventually you will forget one, and probably never see it again.
bjmh,
Jun 10, 5:32pm
Don't use a 2 ton rated nylon strop to lift a light truck engine ,when the strop snaps the 500 odd kg engine will destroy your foot as it trys to go to China and you will spend 12 monthsremembering to use a lifting chain .
tractor9,
May 30, 5:06pm
Keep that jar of leftover nuts and bolts when you do an engine job as they could come in handy when working on your next car.
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