Paddy runs in to the pub and screams at Mick. "Mate someone's just stolen your car"
Mick yells back "bastards" "Did you see who it was?"
" Paddy says "Nah mate but I got the rego plate number"
beno,
Sep 6, 10:06am
Wife naked in front of mirror: "I want bigger boobs - Pay for a boob job." Husband: "Save money, just rub toilet paper between the ones you have." Wife: "Why do you think that will make them bigger?" Husband: "It seems to have done the trick with your arse.
beno,
Sep 6, 10:49am
I took the wife to a disco at the weekend.There was a guy on the dancefloor giving it large;breakdancing,moonwalking- ,back flips,the works.My wife turned to me and said,"See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and i turned him down." I said "Looks like he's still celebrating! "
beno,
Sep 6, 10:54am
I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
beno,
Sep 6, 10:55am
Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them - they said it would be just like winning the lotto! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and, to my horror, we had six matching balls!
beno,
Sep 6, 11:05am
Knock knock. Who's there? A Maori cat. Who? It's me ow
the-lada-dude,
Sep 6, 11:25am
haha. all are good beno
countrypete,
Sep 6, 12:21pm
A semi-colon broke the law and was up before the judge. He got two consecutive sentences.
cheviot,
Oct 4, 10:48am
My girlfriend arrived home after walking home from work in the rain. She says "I'm so wet'. I replied 'you get turned on by the weirdest things'
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